CRISIS.

in my previous post, i said i wouldn't post unless dress for graduation is ready. but i realised, the dress is nothing compared to me. AM I READY?

definitely not. it is beginning to overwhelm me now. i am not ready to leave the comfort of the school yet. i do not want to be not with my friends. i do not want to be cramming papers for money and not for, well, fun? though they would argue work can be a lot of fun. the heck. i am not ready for the world outside school. for the kind of life that awaits.

i haven't even perfected my grammar yet. what will the world need me for? an addition to the icantfindaneffingjobthatsatisfiesmytongue list? probable. possible. but that'd be nightmare-ish.

when i was a little younger, it was easier to plan. i'd graduate, get a decent job, save for my business (which was another story), make people happy, live a wonderful life. but now, things have changed. how do i graduate? what do i do next after getting my diploma, if and when i get it. what kind of jobs would i settle for/with? how long should i spend on blah, blah and blah? what i am saying is i am getting more paranoid by the minute.

this is one of them how-do-i-start-revising-the-effin-paper whines. but beyond that, this is fear. and i believe i have grounds. before, it was easy for me to judge people. why didn't she graduate? tsk. such an irresponsible ass. how come she still has no job? lazy feet. BUT here i am now about to face the same look from people.

this shall pass, right?